What I really want is a "rage of the gods" icon

I used to be a fan of the US Postal Service. You know, they get the job done, they're generally pretty punctual about when they come around, most stuff doesn't get broken as long as you tell them in advance that it's breakable. FedEx is unreliable, UPS is expensive, but last time I did college the USPS had these bags that you could stuff to your heart's content and it cost $3.20 and it was awesome for sending stuff to my parents. Dude, you could have those bags held together with duct tape and they'd still take them. Fill them with rocks, they'd take them.

Then last week I ordered a textbook online. I paid for the fast shipping. It told me it could take 2-6 days but I alway took that as a fail-safe. Y'know, just in case you're sending it around Christmas or from Alaska or whatever, we have to warn you it might take 6 days. But seriously, it's coming from Utah. And it's been 8 days and I still haven't received my textbook. I have assignments due. I need my textbook. I gave them ample time to get it to me so I wouldn't fall behind. This is bullshit. My computer was sent to me from China just before the holidays and it visited Japan, Alaska and St. Louis along the way and it still only took three days.

Then, today I went to the post office to mail a letter to Emily over in Japan. (Emily, if you're reading this, I...errr...wrote the letter last week, but I suck at going to the post office. So pay no attention to the dates on the pages.) I placed the letter on the post office lady's counter and she said "$1.80."

And I said, "No." Because it costs $.60 to mail a letter to Japan. I've been mailing letters to Japan for over a year now, I know this. And I say this to the post office lady. I say, "The stamp's 60 cents."

And she says, "They've never been 60 cents."

Okay, first of all, you're a bitch. It is impossible that there has never been a period in the history of the USPS that a stamp for a letter to Japan cost 60 cents. I remember when regular stamps were a quarter. It was, like, 15 years ago. It'd be like someone coming into the store and asking to see any Jerome Bakers and me responding with, "We've never sold Jerome Bakers." But of course we've sold JBs at some point in time. They were top of the industry until they got shut down. We never sold them while I worked here but it's stupid to think we've never sold them in the past 18 years that the store's been here. But more importantly, there's still this issue of her trying to charge me $1.80. So I say, "Lady, I just sent her a christmas card a month ago and it was 60 cents. I think I would have remembered if they charged me $1.80 because I wouldn't have paid that for a christmas card when I'm not even christian." I nearly said, "I worship the devil," but, you know, she would have thought I was insane and that's not what I was going for.

So she gets all huffy and says, "Well, they were 80 cents but they just went up to 84."

I'm getting really tired of having to take deep, calming breaths every time I have to do really mundane tasks. Instead of being a bitch before when I said the stamps were 60 cents, you could have said, "Actually, they were 80 cents and they just went up to 84." Then we could have gotten right to the real point of the conversation and saved a little time and a lot of rage.

The point of the conversation being, "Then why are you charging me $1.80?"

"Because it's over 1 ounce."

Fuck you. No, I mean it. Is this how postal employees keep from going on shooting rampages? By convincing their customers to do it for them? That was the first freaking thing you should have said to me when I questioned the cost. I said, "The stamp's 60 cents," you should have said, "actually, it's 84 cents now but this package weighs more than an ounce so there's additional postage on it." See how nice that was? See how much time it saved? See how I don't want to strangle you? It's called efficiency, people.

So, I didn't have $1.80 on me and I didn't mail the letter. But I stopped at mom's on the way home and weighed the letter. It wasn't quite two ounces so I can take it home, split it into seperate letters and mail them for $1.68, saving myself 12 cents and giving the post office twice as much work. Honestly, $1.80 for a letter. They must be on crack.


How is it that "furious" is not an accepted mood but "exanimate" is. What the fuck is "exanimate"?